Second Chances
by e s c r i t u r a . c h i c a
Summary: I never got a chance to tell him I loved him. But, there was no point fighting back. He'd already picked her.


_Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly._

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It had just been a week after Freddie, Carly and I graduated from the University of Seattle. Just a week before, I gave up on him on the night of our celebration to beginning our lives as newborn adults. I didn't understand why life always chose to put me through hell. What had I possibly done so bad to always receive the painful award of defeat when it came to happiness? Why was my "thunder" always snatched away by my best friend?

I never had an objection to when that happened. It's not like I wanted attention anyway. But now, she'd stolen the one person away from me whom I loved with all my heart. Without him, I was just a violent, worthless being on this planet. With him, I was someone.

Carly, however, got everything she always wanted. Including Freddie which is why I refused to attend their marriage, and refused to be Carly's maid of honor. No one understood what the reason of disagreeing was, except one person: Marissa Benson.

Despite her fact that she was a crazy lady, she was the only one who understood how much Freddie meant to me. She repeatedly assured me that I always meant the same to Freddie, but clearly she was wrong. I was stupid enough to believe her words: "_He knows he loves you, he's just blinded by Carly._" Was he so blinded that he agreed to her marriage proposal?

Yes, it was true that Carly had proposed to Freddie the night of our graduation celebration, but they told everyone Freddie had. Only me, Marissa, Spencer, and the couple themselves knew the truth about that story.

I would honestly be happy for the both of them and gladly go to, _and_ be a part of their wedding. The only one condition holding me down was the fact that they weren't in love. Carly only wanted to marry Freddie because she was insecure. She feared no one would love her and she'd end up alone. Her way out of that scenario: trick Freddie into believing she loves him by taking advantage of the fact that he still liked her.

Of course Freddie would never turn her down at such an opportunity. He'd finally gotten to be together with the girl of his dreams: the perfect, Carlotta Shay! And now that university or any kind of studies were out of the way, it was a perfect time to get settled and start their future; together.

"_Samantha, I know Freddie will come along. I know he loves you, not Carly!_" Marissa's words rang in my ears. Yeah, right he'd come along. If he had loved me, I wouldn't be here right now sitting at my father's grave on a cold, and very windy evening in Seattle. I usually came here when I was feeling upset or anything really. But I always came here on my own time; only Melanie and mom knew about my secret hideaway. I came here to tell dad everything he's missing out on. Sitting by his grave helped me a lot. It's like he was there, listening to all my rants and secretly controlling my emotions and guiding me in the right direction. My dad and I had a really close relationship. Closer than what Melanie and mom claimed to have. They had always been the same personality and mine and dads were alike, but the love was shared equally in the family... Most of the time.

"Sam," I heard a familiar voice whisper. I turned around to see Freddork standing behind me with a worried expression plastered on his face.

"What are you doing here?" I spat at him, wiping away the tears that had soaked my cheeks.

He winced at the sound of my cold voice. "I was worried about you." he admitted.

"Oh, how thoughtful," I said sarcastically with a hint of bitterness reflecting my voice.

He winced again, but not as obviously as before. "Sam, why are you crying?"

"Why are you here?" I ask, ignoring his question.

"I knew you'd be here."

My eyes widen at this. No one but mom and Melanie knew about this, and it's not like Freddie has their numbers... Oh, Carly. Figures.

"Carly didn't tell me. She doesn't know and we didn't contact your family. I know you come here when you're upset or even happy. I know you talk to your dad, Sam."

"How do you know that?" I ask, dumbfounded.

"Sam, we _were_ the closest friends before Carly moved to town," his voice turned bitter himself. "Do you remember that, or have you forgotten about_ us_ completely?"

I stand up to face him. My hands were clenched into tight fists. How dare he accuse me of not remembering about us? If there had to be one person between us who'd remember every _detail_ of time spent together, it would be me. Not Freddie or anyone else. How could he even think I forgot about us being best friends? We were like magnets! We'd never be apart... But since Carly moved to town, everything sort of went down hill from there. Well, for me at least. "How _dare_ you say that?" I hissed at him. I could feel my body fill with anger towards him. Never had I felt so much like a true _demon_ before. The feeling was alien.

"How dare I_say_ that? How dare you _butt out of my lif_e since sixth grade!" He yelled at me.

I froze in my spot; my anger disappearing and my clenched fists uncurling into trembling hands. My mind went blank and I didn't know how to respond. I'm positive my face had paled, especially because of the fact that I was now holding my breath. All I felt was the cool Seattle wind hit my cheeks and flow my hair away from my face. All I saw was him, standing before me with his angriest expression he was capable of and his arms crossed across his chest. All I felt was numbness. The cool breeze suddenly felt like piercing ice on my skin and I shivered as goose bumps rose throughout my body helping to warm my body temperature.

"Sam," his arms fell to his side weakly and he started towards me. Though I didn't feel my feet, I knew they automatically began walking backwards away from him. "Don't go," he reached out his arms in front of me. I stayed in my ghostly position with just my feet descending towards nowhere. He picked up his pace towards me, causing my feet to retreat faster. I felt no control over my body, not to mention a big white cloud had taken over my thoughts.

I felt my back hit a rough surface (probably a tree) and my feet froze in its place. Freddie ran the small distance towards us and planted his hands on either side of my body. I was trapped. But the worst part of it was that I felt weak. It was yet another alien feeling to me. "Sam, stop running away." Freddie said firmly. I felt the left of my cheek get heavier by a drop of liquid, but it wasn't my tears, nor were they his but they were the sky's. "Sam, breathe," Freddie told me. For the first time in years, I did as he commanded. I felt my body leave its numb state and slowly recover back into its normal. However, I still felt that weak feeling in my muscles. Ever little movement felt nearly impossible to me.

"Sam, I'm here." he said. "You don't have to hide anymore."

The big lump that had taken place in my throat had started to disappear. "You're not here," my voice came out as a whisper. "You've never been here."

I saw tears form in his eyes. "I've _always_ been here, Sam," his voice trembled. "You never saw it after we befriended Carly. You put on some tom-boy act and pretended to hate me. You don't think I saw right through that? Sam, we're best friends!"

"Were." I corrected. "We _were_ best friends."

He lifted his arms from either side of me and dropped them by his side again. A pool of tears slipped out his eyes and rolled down his cheeks profusely. "If you wanted me out of your life, Sam, you should've just said so. I wouldn't have cared so much all along to receive your hatred in the end." I saw his body go weak physically, but I knew that he was still strong mentally. I, however, had let down both my walls. The only thing that remained consistently strong in me was my heart. My _shattered_ heart still supported me while nothing else could.

"I don't hate you." I told him honestly. "I never did."

"Then why the act all these years, huh?" he regained his anger and crossed his arms again.

I stood in silence for a moment, debating if I should tell him or run away like I had all these years. I figured if I'd already lost him, what more could I lose now? "You weren't mine anymore." I began. "Since Carly moved into town, you fell in love with her beauty, her charm, her everything! I felt invisible."

As soon as I'd finished, I heard the sky roar loudly followed by the strong pouring which took place. We stood here, under a tree, almost drenched in the cold rain. We simply stared at each other for a while before he closed the distance between us and pressed his lips against mine. It was the second time in my life today that I had kissed Fredward Benson. His lips tasted like cherries, just like last time. The kiss was rough, yet gentle; he hadn't lost his touch. I tried my best to feel guilty of this, like this was completely wrong, but I couldn't help but give in and deepen the kiss. The thought of me feeling like a backstabber lingered in the back of my mind, but all that mattered right now was us.

We pulled apart, only for the reason to breathe. I hadn't realized his hands were back on the tree, trapping me yet again and the fact that my hands were intertwined with his hair. Neither of us seemed to care about the rain that had now succeeded in getting us drenched with cold water. All we cared about was the scenario that had just taken place. But Freddie and I weren't meant to be; it was always Freddie and Carly.

Why did he do this?

"Sam," he whispered. "I agree that I was blinded by Carly's love at first, but when I tried to hint that it was you who I really wanted, you never seemed to catch on. How do you think that made _me_ feel?"

I once again fell dumbfounded. All I could do was blink rapidly as the rain kept blurring my vision with water droplets that sat happily on my eyelids and slid down my lashes and down to my cheeks. He chuckled to himself, looking away for a second before meeting my gaze. "I felt exactly how you felt, Sam." he ran a hand through his damp hair, "_Invisible_."

"Then why'd _you_ still keep pretending?"

"Because with Carly, I had someone. Without her, I didn't even have you." He replied. "The only person I ever needed in my life was _you_, Sam. But you just removed your name from my life or something."

"Don't be so dramatic, Dork, it wasn't like that. I'm still here, aren't I?"

He chuckled and walked closer to me, cupping my face. "There's the Sam that I fell in love with," he smiled and leaned down to press his forehead against mine. I was partly shielded from the pouring rain and was actually glad. It was freezing out here. Lucky Freddie had a jacket. _Way to focus on the real situation, Sam..._ I told myself mentally. "And don't deny your love for me." He warned. "I know that-"

"I love you, too," I finished his sentence. It didn't feel right for him to be admitting how I felt towards him. I felt his surprisingly warm hands meet mine and our fingers intertwined within another's. I agree that this moment could be better, but to me it seemed perfect. I could, however, do without the freezing cold rain though.

"And, as for Carly," he took a deep breath. "I never like her, anyway." He grinned at me before leaning down and pressing his lips against mine again. It wasn't a kiss, though. It was just a little peck to complete the moment.

"Wait," I said, remembering the most important detail. I felt like a selfish brat now, stealing from my own best friend. "You're marrying her, though." I scanned his hands for the ring she'd happily put on his finger the night of the proposal.

"Do you _see_ a ring, Pukkett?" he smirked at me, exposing his perfect pearly whites.

I punch him playfully on his chest before he pulls me in a hug, rocking me back and forth. "Never leave me again!" He warned. "This is the only other chance you'll get, Pukkett."

"Please," I teased. "This is _your_ only chance, Benson! You better treat mama right...!"

As we laughed at our lame-ness, the only thoughts that now lingered my almost empty mind were: "_When did it stop raining?_" and "_I could really use some Ham right now!_"

_**Fin**_**. :)**

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**_Author's Notes:_

_Hey, guys!_

_This was my first one-shot, ever! And, I just randomly started writing today about, well... Basically anything that popped in my head and this one-shot was developed in the process. I know this probably has many mistakes and I could have made it better. But when it's 2:00 AM in the morning... You just don't feel up to it! Hehehe. Hope it's still satisfactory, though. :)_

_Please leave comments, suggestions and critiques. I would love to hear what you all think of this!_

_Is it any good? Should I bother writing another one-shot again? Hehe! Please let me know... Good or bad, it helps!_

_Thanks,_

___xo ` e s c r i t u r a . c h i c a_  



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